Super discouraged right now.
Feels like right now is harder than before/during the surgery. The last two days we've had less-than-stellar nurses, I'm home with a cold (can't go in the DNCC with a cold) so Steph has to go in by herself. Elizabeth, although progressing, is still having a hard time with eating. Uggh.
The doctors have been great, but they only come around every once in a while. The last two days have just been super hard because our nurses have not been up to the quality that our previous DNCC experience held. One snapped at me yesterday when she thought I was going to try to pick Elizabeth up with one arm (I wasn't). Made me feel super stupid and like a bad dad. Then today, I couldn't go in because of the cold. Today's nurse is younger than we are and went straight by the book. Hasn't exactly developed the loving tact that a NICU nurse needs. Plus, I think being a mom really helps you in this type of nursing, and well, she's not. Steph felt like the nurse was contradicting every thing she said. Then Elizabeth is not improving in feeding quickly, so Steph feels like that's her responsibility. And of course I wasn't there to be of any help. Also feels like little continuity because we can't be there during the night (there is a bed for a parent in the PICU, not so in the DNCC.)
I feel like Elizabeth would be fine if they would just let us bring her home, but they won't. The trouble is that it feels like there is very little continuity right now because every one (who seems to be different than the folks we saw before) throws in their two cents and don't take into account the fact that other people have already looked at her. For example: the cardiologist came in this morning and said she didn't need the oxygen any more. Later this afternoon, when Elizabeth dropped in her Oxygen Saturation during feeding (normal when she eats or gets upset), the nurse turned the oxygen back on. Man, I wish this was done with. She's two weeks old today. Uggh, how long is this going to go on?
It seems like the DNCC is giving us the low end nurses since Elizabeth is on the flip side of the surgery and is "just" working on feeding. Pray we get an awesome nurse tomorrow. The nurse is what makes or breaks a day. We've had some awesome nurses: Rick, Emily, Debbie, Merritt, Carla, Lori, Serena, Janie, Renee, Leo... those are some great nurses.
Man, am I tired. Also, please pray this cold goes away in a hurry and that it doesn't get Steph. It would be way not good if she had it. Thanks for all of your support. It's much needed in times like these.
UPDATE later 7/6: Got tons of emails in response. Thank you. Feeling better. Got lots of loving encouragement and some loving rebuke. Many thanks to the gal with the street cred. :-)
Grace and peace,
Allen
2 comments:
hey guys....another thing to add to that really lon email of mine
like we are all gifted with different spiritual giofts, the NICU nurses are gifted in different ways in their NICU nursing practice.
for example: I am very good at getting the parents to bond in other ways than holding and such when their babies can't be held. I am also good for dealing with those families whose babies are going to be here for the long haul....although after they leave I need to recuperate. But I absolutely suck with starting IVs due to my gimpy hand and wrist. At Good Sam, when I was there, I would rely on this nurse who I believe could start an IV on a rock if she had to for help with this. But I noticed she really could not work with the emotional stuff with families. In fact she rarely interacted with them. But like I like to think I am, she was/is an excellent nurse.
I'm praying that you get the nursing care that you want, but more importantly, I am praying for the nursing care Elizabeth needs.
Hang in there!
more hugs
Oh Laura, you know me so well. Thank you.
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