So, Monday Allen went to an interview and was hired for a part time position (12 hours a week) doing IT for the seminary (thanks Scott for all your help in encouraging this to come to fruition).
Today marks the first day of work at his new job.
Typically he will be working 4 hour shifts, but today will be a real people shift of 8 hours, so pray for Allen.
Pray for him not to feel nervous and that he would pick up everything quickly.
And pray for me as I am left to care for the girls alone during part of their grandparent rehab, while not feeling up to par.
Also, be praying for another small part time job to work well with this position. Allen has applied for 3 that might work, but is doing the waiting thing for all 3.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Ultrasound #1 for Kiddo #3
Yesterday I had a dating ultrasound.
I got to see the heart beat (at 176 beats per minute, which apparently is right as it should be for such a wee one).
I also got to see just how huge my bladder can look when at full capacity (they make you drink 32 oz of water an hour before, so you can imagine just what I mean).
Finally the tech measured our littlest one and said that as of yesterday we are 8 weeks and 2 days along in the process.
That means that as of today we have 221 days until the due date, April 5th, 2009.
That is 31 weeks and 4 days, or just over 7 months to go.
Stay tuned. A pool will begin shortly after we have had time to make up the rules, etc.
I got to see the heart beat (at 176 beats per minute, which apparently is right as it should be for such a wee one).
I also got to see just how huge my bladder can look when at full capacity (they make you drink 32 oz of water an hour before, so you can imagine just what I mean).
Finally the tech measured our littlest one and said that as of yesterday we are 8 weeks and 2 days along in the process.
That means that as of today we have 221 days until the due date, April 5th, 2009.
That is 31 weeks and 4 days, or just over 7 months to go.
Stay tuned. A pool will begin shortly after we have had time to make up the rules, etc.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Chemo
So my mom saw the Oncologist last week (a chemotherapy doctor) and then a day later, met with an Oncology surgeon, and two days after that a radiation doc.
They almost certainly won't be able to do surgery, because the tumor has completely (like 360 degrees around) encased the major vein running through her pancreas.
However, they are hoping that chemotherapy will be able to shrink the tumor. Chemo starts tomorrow and will be every Friday for 3 weeks in a row. After the 3 weeks are done they will do another CT to see if the cancer has responded even minimally.
If it does then they will start radiation together with more chemo. This will make my mom REALLY REALLY REALLY sick. However, if they can't do the radiation then the options from there are extremely limited.
Please pray that the cancer shrinks in the coming weeks, so that they can do radiation. Also, pray for my mom's strength and peace to continue. And pray for strength and peace for my dad as well. It is tough on everyone, but they are carrying the biggest load.
Please, pray for wisdom too for the doctors as they make their decisions.
They almost certainly won't be able to do surgery, because the tumor has completely (like 360 degrees around) encased the major vein running through her pancreas.
However, they are hoping that chemotherapy will be able to shrink the tumor. Chemo starts tomorrow and will be every Friday for 3 weeks in a row. After the 3 weeks are done they will do another CT to see if the cancer has responded even minimally.
If it does then they will start radiation together with more chemo. This will make my mom REALLY REALLY REALLY sick. However, if they can't do the radiation then the options from there are extremely limited.
Please pray that the cancer shrinks in the coming weeks, so that they can do radiation. Also, pray for my mom's strength and peace to continue. And pray for strength and peace for my dad as well. It is tough on everyone, but they are carrying the biggest load.
Please, pray for wisdom too for the doctors as they make their decisions.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Vermont
Vermont is way prettier than I imagined. Lots and lots of green. And gorgeous rivers that have just enough white water to know they're moving, but not enough to make you think to get a raft and go for a ride. Bob Ross would have had a field day with the inspiration from that place.
Fun trip. Bit hard due to back issues and not some of the best paved roads in the country, but we still did have a great time.
Hit the Vermont Teddy Bear factory. Very cool. Each of the girls got one of the smaller (read: not crazy expensive) teddy bears from Ma and Pa. Lizzie named hers Heart. Ellie named hers Mine. Yep. :-)
Then we hit the Ben and Jerry's factory. Super impressed. The Flavor Graveyard behind the factory was hilarious. And the free sample of Cake Batter ice cream was very tasty and über rich. I don't think I could handle much more than that little sample size.
This morning we ate at the Farmer's Diner. From their mission statement:
And boy does it taste fresh. You walk in and they've got a map where each of the products come from (eggs come from this farm, nuts/granola come from this farm, etc.). Each individual item didn't necessarily stick out as "Oh my gosh, this is amazing!" (well, the pancakes we're really good), but put together, the best breakfast I've had.
And we're all glad to be back at home. In our own beds. Well, for the time being. Steph and I bought a new bed today. See: my back issues and Steph's pregnancy. :-)
Fun trip. Bit hard due to back issues and not some of the best paved roads in the country, but we still did have a great time.
Hit the Vermont Teddy Bear factory. Very cool. Each of the girls got one of the smaller (read: not crazy expensive) teddy bears from Ma and Pa. Lizzie named hers Heart. Ellie named hers Mine. Yep. :-)
Then we hit the Ben and Jerry's factory. Super impressed. The Flavor Graveyard behind the factory was hilarious. And the free sample of Cake Batter ice cream was very tasty and über rich. I don't think I could handle much more than that little sample size.
This morning we ate at the Farmer's Diner. From their mission statement:
The concept behind The Farmers Diner is simple. We are shortening the road from the farm field to the diner plate. The current commercial food system is a mess. The Farmers Diner follows a simple design: buy great ingredients directly from area farmers and prepare great meals for local customers. Vermonters should eat Vermont raised foods-this creates security and health-healthy economies, healthy communities, healthy bodies.
And boy does it taste fresh. You walk in and they've got a map where each of the products come from (eggs come from this farm, nuts/granola come from this farm, etc.). Each individual item didn't necessarily stick out as "Oh my gosh, this is amazing!" (well, the pancakes we're really good), but put together, the best breakfast I've had.
And we're all glad to be back at home. In our own beds. Well, for the time being. Steph and I bought a new bed today. See: my back issues and Steph's pregnancy. :-)
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Why Not?
So last night I was feeling particularly frustrated with the world of merchandise and all things marketed.
Frustrations like, why don't they have a hybrid minivan, but they have hybrid SUVs? Do families with kids not want to conserve and save on gas too?
I interrupt this post to warn you that the following comments are for women only.
I repeat, women only.
I cannot be held responsible for making any gentlemen feel awkward.
You have been warned.
...
...
...
...
Anyhow, the biggest frustration of all was with the bra industry. The only lament I have about having another little one, is the nursing bra frustration.
I cannot for the life of me find nursing bras that make it through even one child, much less 2, 3, or 4!
Why do companies like Victoria Secret not create a good nursing bra? They could even call it the Mommy Line. I hate that my options are $60 bras online (that I have to hope fit) or $15-30 bras from a maternity store, that will need to be replaced in a few months time.
Do any of you experienced mommies out there, have a better source for a good quality, but not outrageously expensive, nursing bra? If so, please let me know in the next few months, so that I can look into it before I have to get desperate and go with one of my other options.
Frustrations like, why don't they have a hybrid minivan, but they have hybrid SUVs? Do families with kids not want to conserve and save on gas too?
I interrupt this post to warn you that the following comments are for women only.
I repeat, women only.
I cannot be held responsible for making any gentlemen feel awkward.
You have been warned.
...
...
...
...
Anyhow, the biggest frustration of all was with the bra industry. The only lament I have about having another little one, is the nursing bra frustration.
I cannot for the life of me find nursing bras that make it through even one child, much less 2, 3, or 4!
Why do companies like Victoria Secret not create a good nursing bra? They could even call it the Mommy Line. I hate that my options are $60 bras online (that I have to hope fit) or $15-30 bras from a maternity store, that will need to be replaced in a few months time.
Do any of you experienced mommies out there, have a better source for a good quality, but not outrageously expensive, nursing bra? If so, please let me know in the next few months, so that I can look into it before I have to get desperate and go with one of my other options.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
It's A Boy!
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Did anyone seriously believe that I somehow knew at 7 weeks (yes that is all) what we are having?
Anyhow, as the mother of two beautiful little girls, it has been interesting, telling people about the expectation of the new arrival (March 29th, though seriously does anyone ever have their baby on their due date, I mean really, the likelihood of me giving birth on March 29 is about the same as me having twins...).
(random fact: 5% of women give birth on their due date, 3.125% of births are twins)
So, telling people about our little one that is coming March-ish, I have found people's responses to be unexpected. Since this was our third go at sharing "the news", I figured it would have become almost routine, but I guess there is nothing routine about a new life.
(Background, we decided to tell people as soon as we found out which means we are less than 2 months in, and still in the unstable-ness of the first trimester)
People have of course been excited, but the responses have ranged from the non-verbal awkward silent pauses to strange prophetic declarations.
There have been two particular responses which have surprised me the most.
The first is the unbelievable number of people who are surprised we didn't wait until the 2nd trimester, when we are out of "danger", to tell anyone. Seriously people, am I the only person on the planet that thinks that it isn't a bad thing to share my joy with others as soon as I find out, even if it means later sharing my pain with everyone as well?
I want people to know! And especially during the time when our little one is most vulnerable and needs the most prayer, I want people to pray with us for his/her health. I want people to rejoice with us as we rejoice. Likewise, I hope that if we did lose our little one during this sensitive time, those same people would be able to weep with us, feeling in some way a bit of our pain, as they have rejoiced beside us already.
(Another fact: 25% of pregnancies are miscarried before the 6th week and 8% are miscarried after the 6th week)
I understand that many miscarriages happen even before the woman knows she is with child, and I can't even imagine those emotions. I also understand that for some, telling only a handful of people feels safer, so as to have the support, but not all the questions and potentially having to retell the same difficult story again and again.
And maybe that is the difference. As difficult a story to tell as losing a child could be, I believe in the benefit of all those potential prayers. And I believe that for me having people genuinely want to help me through a difficult time of mourning would be such an encouragement.
I felt the fear and pain of almost losing Lizzie and cannot express to you, even now, just how much the encouragement of the multitudes of believers and nonbelievers meant to me. And though I don't pretend to know the pain of losing a child, I am almost certain I would continue to pull from the encouragement of others, to pick me up again.
All that to say, if you think us foolish for sharing our joy, you are not alone :-) And although it (obviously) bothers me that people look at me as a fool, I will continue to try and understand your points of view, while I stand firm in our decision to tell the world of our joy.
So, the second, and much more lighthearted response that has surprised me. I have already had a number of people immediately proclaim, "You are having a boy!"
Though I believe in the gift of prophecy (a subject for another post), I am not sure these declarations count as truly prophetic, and so they act as good entertainment for the most part. I am not dismissing them, but realizing that as a mother of 2 girls, people assume we want a boy and could easily lean that direction.
When late into my pregnancy with Ellie (I think about a week before she was born) I had a lady randomly approach me at the mall. She reached out to touch my extremely protruding belly and in her best English told me in seriousness and complete self-assurance that I was having a boy. I quickly explained we had had two ultrasounds that said we were having a girl. She looked at me with a face that said "I'm not kidding" and firm exclaimed, "They were wrong, it is a boy."(or something to that effect). That moment made me pause and think that maybe I was having a boy, so much so that I was a bit surprised when Eliana came out.
Now, I know that until the little one comes out, you never really know what you will have.
Thank you everyone for your responses, as expected or unexpectedly as they have been. It has been great fun to take them all in :-)
Looking Ahead With Joy to My Morning
An old one, but much needed:
"I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
Chorus:
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen
I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning"
Thanks Darrell Evans for being used by God to encourage me this morning.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Let's Talk About the Weather
It is pouring outside...again.
This Summer has been a shock to my system physically and metaphorically.
I love a good storm. Something to jolt me to life again and remind me that God is in control. The huge booming clap of thunder that shakes your seat and makes you feel small in a good way. The light show that outdoes any fireworks display no matter which side of the Mississippi you are on...awesome. The rain that comes down in sheets of white, taking once parched land, and creating a mud puddle in seconds.
What I don't love, is when that storm turns into a never-ending drowning of life, that leaves you doing the doggy paddle to keep your head above water. I don't love the way nothing ever is fully dry. Or the way that people lose their awe for the insane noise that rattles them physically, and go on as if they are ignoring the power of God Himself. Or how people (myself included)lament the impending storm as, "another storm".
The weather this summer has been the later...and so has life.
It started to pour a couple of weeks ago. My mom was here for a visit from Washington State and we had been enjoying our time, but she was feeling even more poorly than she had apparently been at home (I will spare you the details). Finally two weeks ago this Tuesday, we decided it couldn't wait for her return home 2 days later, because now she was jaundice. We made lots of calls and eventually decided the ER was our only option.
We did the usual waiting to be called, sitting in a room, waiting some more, blood tests, x-ray... By late that evening (probably near midnight) they were thinking Hepatitis A. To be sure they decided to keep her overnight and do a CAT scan in the morning. This didn't sit well with my very young 49 year old mother, who hadn't been to the hospital since my brother was born in 1986. However, she graciously agreed to endure the evening stay in a hospital on the other side of the country just over a day before she was supposed to return home.
The next morning they took a very long amount of time to do all the testing they could. That afternoon the doctor came in and let us know that is was definitely not Hepatitis A, but that there was something blocking the common bile duct (the tubing that connects the pancreas, gall bladder, liver and small intestines), hence the turning yellow all over. Unfortunately they couldn't do anything else at this hospital (Beverly Hospital), and would have to arrange for her to be transferred by ambulance over to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. Of course that night there was a severe storm that contained tornadoes and was heading towards us, so the ambulance got caught in awful traffic, meaning we didn't get to her new hospital home away from home until 8pm that night. Since it was clear that she would not make her return flight we canceled it with hopes of rescheduling in a couple of days.
That night the new hospital redid every last test that had already been done, meaning we slept very little, because every time we dosed off someone else came in to draw blood, put stickers all over her for EEG or take her to another location for an X-ray or CAT scan. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything, but at one point they did make her drink 32 oz. (an entire nalgene) of milk for the CAT scan :-)
The next day we waited. I went home and got things together, while mom tried to sleep and that evening had an Endoscopy done to insert a stent (this was a plastic stent to allow things to flow through the duct, so that her body could get rid of the excess bilirubin that was causing the jaundice).
The next morning I returned to find that they had hoped to do another Endoscopy that day (Friday), this time to take a biopsy (since they were only able to take a scraping in the first procedure). Unfortunately there was no room to squeeze her in that day, so they had to wait for Tuesday. Since she was not jaundice anymore, and was seemingly healthy they sent her home with me, to be brought back the next week for her biopsy. While this was taking place, my dad was on an airplane heading out now that we knew mom would be here for at least a few more days.
We spent the weekend, plus Monday, sightseeing to keep our minds busy. Tuesday we headed into the City again, this time my parents, the girls and I (Allen started class on the Monday). Her 12:30pm scheduled procedure didn't happen until close to 4pm. We were there all day waiting. The procedure didn't take more than an hour and she did great. The doctors that did it came by to talk to my parents and used the big "C" word...CANCER. The words we dreaded.
We then spent the next couple of days trying to do even more sightseeing to keep our minds even busier than we had before. Her consultation to go over the official results, with her doctor, was Friday morning. Dr. Vollmer confirmed the hunch of the previous doctors, and said that the tumor could not be removed, due to its location. The cancer attached itself to a very important vein, meaning it is far more risky to try to take it out, than to simply leave it.
My parents got on a plane to go home that afternoon. This week they have the task of maneuvering their way through Kaiser's web of people you have to see before you get anything done. Hopefully soon mom will meet with a skilled Oncologist who can explain the options and time frames.
We know she is in His hands. The Creator. The Roar behind the thunder. The Light beyond anything we could imagine.
Pray.
Pray.
And Pray some more.
This Summer has been a shock to my system physically and metaphorically.
I love a good storm. Something to jolt me to life again and remind me that God is in control. The huge booming clap of thunder that shakes your seat and makes you feel small in a good way. The light show that outdoes any fireworks display no matter which side of the Mississippi you are on...awesome. The rain that comes down in sheets of white, taking once parched land, and creating a mud puddle in seconds.
What I don't love, is when that storm turns into a never-ending drowning of life, that leaves you doing the doggy paddle to keep your head above water. I don't love the way nothing ever is fully dry. Or the way that people lose their awe for the insane noise that rattles them physically, and go on as if they are ignoring the power of God Himself. Or how people (myself included)lament the impending storm as, "another storm".
The weather this summer has been the later...and so has life.
It started to pour a couple of weeks ago. My mom was here for a visit from Washington State and we had been enjoying our time, but she was feeling even more poorly than she had apparently been at home (I will spare you the details). Finally two weeks ago this Tuesday, we decided it couldn't wait for her return home 2 days later, because now she was jaundice. We made lots of calls and eventually decided the ER was our only option.
We did the usual waiting to be called, sitting in a room, waiting some more, blood tests, x-ray... By late that evening (probably near midnight) they were thinking Hepatitis A. To be sure they decided to keep her overnight and do a CAT scan in the morning. This didn't sit well with my very young 49 year old mother, who hadn't been to the hospital since my brother was born in 1986. However, she graciously agreed to endure the evening stay in a hospital on the other side of the country just over a day before she was supposed to return home.
The next morning they took a very long amount of time to do all the testing they could. That afternoon the doctor came in and let us know that is was definitely not Hepatitis A, but that there was something blocking the common bile duct (the tubing that connects the pancreas, gall bladder, liver and small intestines), hence the turning yellow all over. Unfortunately they couldn't do anything else at this hospital (Beverly Hospital), and would have to arrange for her to be transferred by ambulance over to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. Of course that night there was a severe storm that contained tornadoes and was heading towards us, so the ambulance got caught in awful traffic, meaning we didn't get to her new hospital home away from home until 8pm that night. Since it was clear that she would not make her return flight we canceled it with hopes of rescheduling in a couple of days.
That night the new hospital redid every last test that had already been done, meaning we slept very little, because every time we dosed off someone else came in to draw blood, put stickers all over her for EEG or take her to another location for an X-ray or CAT scan. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything, but at one point they did make her drink 32 oz. (an entire nalgene) of milk for the CAT scan :-)
The next day we waited. I went home and got things together, while mom tried to sleep and that evening had an Endoscopy done to insert a stent (this was a plastic stent to allow things to flow through the duct, so that her body could get rid of the excess bilirubin that was causing the jaundice).
The next morning I returned to find that they had hoped to do another Endoscopy that day (Friday), this time to take a biopsy (since they were only able to take a scraping in the first procedure). Unfortunately there was no room to squeeze her in that day, so they had to wait for Tuesday. Since she was not jaundice anymore, and was seemingly healthy they sent her home with me, to be brought back the next week for her biopsy. While this was taking place, my dad was on an airplane heading out now that we knew mom would be here for at least a few more days.
We spent the weekend, plus Monday, sightseeing to keep our minds busy. Tuesday we headed into the City again, this time my parents, the girls and I (Allen started class on the Monday). Her 12:30pm scheduled procedure didn't happen until close to 4pm. We were there all day waiting. The procedure didn't take more than an hour and she did great. The doctors that did it came by to talk to my parents and used the big "C" word...CANCER. The words we dreaded.
We then spent the next couple of days trying to do even more sightseeing to keep our minds even busier than we had before. Her consultation to go over the official results, with her doctor, was Friday morning. Dr. Vollmer confirmed the hunch of the previous doctors, and said that the tumor could not be removed, due to its location. The cancer attached itself to a very important vein, meaning it is far more risky to try to take it out, than to simply leave it.
My parents got on a plane to go home that afternoon. This week they have the task of maneuvering their way through Kaiser's web of people you have to see before you get anything done. Hopefully soon mom will meet with a skilled Oncologist who can explain the options and time frames.
We know she is in His hands. The Creator. The Roar behind the thunder. The Light beyond anything we could imagine.
Pray.
Pray.
And Pray some more.
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