Remodel

Also, stay tuned for a new look. Now that Allen is finished with Spring Semester (Yeah!!!!!!), he has promised to help me change the layout and over all look of my blog. If you have any ideas, please feel free to share them. I love input, especially on things that I am completely ignorant of, and designing web-stuff is one of those things!

Pics of the Raspberry

Here is Gracie trying to suck her thumb at 1 month old

Gracie making faces for the camera (taken today, not quite 2 months old)

And finally, Gracie wearing the dress that was made for Mommy (me ;-) ) when I was her age by I believe my Grandma Sewell

Mom Young Update

My mom had a CT scan last week. We were all bracing ourselves for the possibility that the news could be quite difficult to take in.

But, PRAISE THE LORD, it wasn't!!!

The lung cancer hasn't grown, the mass in her stomach doesn't appear to be a cancerous tumor, but instead some sort of fluid (they are still figuring it out with tests, etc.), and the pancreatic cancer has had minimal growth.

This is such a relief to me, being so far away, and unable to help out.

Please, continue to pray for her healing, and that God would give the doctors wisdom as to what the mass in her abdomen is, where it's point of origin is, and how best to deal with it (draining, surgery to remove it, just leave it...).

Also pray that God would continue to guide each of us through this process of unknowns. It has been a challenging journey so far, and we all know that there is more to come, but God has been extremely faithful in giving each of us people in our lives to talk to and that is an amazing blessing.

So thank you for your prayers and for those that have taken the time to sit and listen to me process aloud or read my written words as I struggle with the powerful truths and overcome some of the ugly lies, that have come as a result of the events of this past year. You are wonderful friends, and I love and appreciate each of you very much!

2 going on 13

Ellie is two.

I could stop there and let you imagine what the rest of this post might include, but I won't work your brains today.

Here are a couple of Ellie quotes that will give you a glimpse into the growing mind of our independent thinker:

Mommy: You are two Ellie
Ellie: I'm not two, I'm Free!!!

Ellie (with an instructing tone): Babies drip a lot!

In other Ellie news, she is learning to use the potty, and doing very well, so hopefully very soon we will be down to diapering one again! Be praying that it continues to go well. Ellie can be very strong willed and if she gets the idea that going on the toilet is in anyway unpleasant or not advantageous to her, she might abandon ship! That could be real trouble.

Berries Continued

I have decided to call our youngest Gracie. Allen has settled on Raspberry (which is what Malina means in Croatian, Russian, Polish, and a few other eastern European languages). This led to an interesting conversation yesterday with Lizzie:

Lizzie: I am going to call her Strawberry
Allen: Don't you mean Raspberry?
Lizzie: Strawberry!
Allen: But Daddy calls Malina Raspberry
Lizzie: I know! I am going to call her Strawberry.
Allen: yes, but Daddy calls her Raspberry, because that is what her name means in another language, called Croatian
Lizzie: Yes, but I like strawberries, they taste good.

Allen laughs and gives up, unwilling to fight our 3 year old (almost 4 year old) on technicalities.

So many things to say

I have thought of SO MANY posts to share with you all, but unfortunately the subjects of most of the posts have kept me from having the time to sit and type them out :-)

Instead I will just post little bits when I can over the next day or so, and hopefully that will be enough to keep you from giving up on reading my blog altogether!

A Rose by Any Other Nickname...

So ever since Allen and I decided on Malina Grace for our 3rd daughter's name, we have been struggling to come up with THE "perfect" nickname.

Finally, late last night, I believe we came to a compromise, but in case we change our minds I will wait to share.

Instead I thought I would get your thoughts. What is a good nickname for Malina Grace using any variation on her first or middle name, or even something totally random that fits the personality of our laid back, sweet, little, third child?

Still Here

We are still here, but as you probably guessed, life with one more little one is not as simple as adding one more to the mix.

Malina Grace, (or Gracie, as some of us have taken to calling her), is very sweet and laid back.

Her flexibility has been huge in this transitional phase, but unfortunately a cold found our home, and she is now struggling through the sniffles at 1 month old. Part of me feels tremendous guilt that she is already sick and yet I know there is very little I could have done differently to try and prevent it. Both Allen and Lizzie have been under the weather the past week and a half, and realistically, just trying to keep Lizzie from coughing near Gracie, has been a chore.

Please, be praying that she gets over it very quickly and that it doesn't get any worse.

Also, prayers for Lizzie and Ellie would be appreciated, as they learn how to share Mommy and Daddy. They have been so sweet with their sister, but definitely have made it known to Allen and myself, that they don't appreciate the lack of attention. For example, in the past couple of days they have thrown more temper tantrums, screamed more times and said the words "No" and "Why" more frequently than I care to calculate, than ever before.

Also, there was the melting stick of butter all over the kitchen, newly cleaned dishes and bodies of a 3 and 2 year old. Oh, and today's expression of frustration by Lizzie: the new tube of toothpaste all over the bathroom counters, floor, toilet, hair ties, and carefully shredded toilet paper. It was truly a sight to see. In fact, if I thought I could get a picture without giving my creative bathroom decorator the wrong message, I would have shown you all just what a mess it was.

The Weight of it All

This has been quite the week for me. Having a baby is always a big deal, but this time was especially impacting to me for a multitude of reasons. The biggest factors were being in a birthing center with midwives, Allen and a close friend; rather than being in a hospital back home, with family (in particular my mom), doctors and drugs.

I hadn't realized what a huge experience giving birth naturally would be for me. It was truly an amazing experience on so many levels. Never in my life have I felt such a raw need and desire for God's help. Never have I felt such pain that would bring me to such a point of surrender to God's control. And never has God's timing and plan seemed more obviously perfect.

As I mentioned before, my family, including my mom, were all back in Washington, while I grunted and groaned Malina into the world in Massachusetts. Allen and my good friend, Elizabeth, were huge instruments in helping me cope with the painful process, but it was God's whispered reminders of His faithfulness, strength, love and GRACE, that kept me going. In the haze of thoughts that filled my mind with each mind-numbing contraction, I heard His voice saying that it would be done soon, that He would take the weight off my shoulders if I surrendered it to Him...He would carry my load, my pain...my cross.

In the end, the pain brought forth life. In the end a reminder was born, a reminder of God's amazing and towering grace*. He never gives us more than we can handle, because He is always there to carry our load for us. And in the end of this journey of pain that is life on Earth, there is life eternal with our gracious Father.

This reminder was especially impacting for me this evening, as I was jolted once again into the reality of the frailty of our human bodies and how God's plan is not our own. He is in control. He knows how long we have on this Earth and He knows the loads we can bear while we are here, because He intends to bear them for us. My family has a heavy weight right now, in particular my parents, but we will make it through by the power of His grace, and in the end we will have true LIFE!

So, despite the pain I feel, and will continue to feel, I praise God for His faithfulness, strength, love and especially... His grace.


Note:
*Malina in Hebrew means Tower, so her name essentially means tower of grace.

Malina Grace

Malina Grace was born at 12:09pm, April 2, 2009. 7 lbs 0 oz. and 20" long. -- Mom and baby are great. As a means of precaution (and the extra help of nurses), Steph and Malina will be staying in the hospital until Saturday. Lizzie, Ellie and I are trying to rest up for the coming home of our sweet Malina!