This has been quite the week for me. Having a baby is always a big deal, but this time was especially impacting to me for a multitude of reasons. The biggest factors were being in a birthing center with midwives, Allen and a close friend; rather than being in a hospital back home, with family (in particular my mom), doctors and drugs.
I hadn't realized what a huge experience giving birth naturally would be for me. It was truly an amazing experience on so many levels. Never in my life have I felt such a raw need and desire for God's help. Never have I felt such pain that would bring me to such a point of surrender to God's control. And never has God's timing and plan seemed more obviously perfect.
As I mentioned before, my family, including my mom, were all back in Washington, while I grunted and groaned Malina into the world in Massachusetts. Allen and my good friend, Elizabeth, were huge instruments in helping me cope with the painful process, but it was God's whispered reminders of His faithfulness, strength, love and GRACE, that kept me going. In the haze of thoughts that filled my mind with each mind-numbing contraction, I heard His voice saying that it would be done soon, that He would take the weight off my shoulders if I surrendered it to Him...He would carry my load, my pain...my cross.
In the end, the pain brought forth life. In the end a reminder was born, a reminder of God's amazing and towering grace*. He never gives us more than we can handle, because He is always there to carry our load for us. And in the end of this journey of pain that is life on Earth, there is life eternal with our gracious Father.
This reminder was especially impacting for me this evening, as I was jolted once again into the reality of the frailty of our human bodies and how God's plan is not our own. He is in control. He knows how long we have on this Earth and He knows the loads we can bear while we are here, because He intends to bear them for us. My family has a heavy weight right now, in particular my parents, but we will make it through by the power of His grace, and in the end we will have true LIFE!
So, despite the pain I feel, and will continue to feel, I praise God for His faithfulness, strength, love and especially... His grace.
Note:
*Malina in Hebrew means Tower, so her name essentially means tower of grace.
2 comments:
I am praying for you? Anything in specific that needs to be brought before God? Love you, Steph! Way to push through! I pushed out Jess naturally and can completely sympathize. It is truly amazing, isn't it? Kiss your girls for me (and say hit o Melissa). Hopefully, I'll see you soon.
Beautiful! I love the lessons God gives us through parenthood. Including the birthing process. Thank you for the reminders of life after pain/burden.
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