We need a Name Still

So I realized that I haven't given enough info to help with getting some good baby girl names. We want a name that will flow well with the 3 older girls names. Here are their names:

Elizabeth Blair (means: consecrated to God)
Eliana Joy (means: God has answered with Joy)
Malina Grace (means: Tower of Grace or Raspberry Grace if you go with the Russian :-)

Since they all are 3 syllables, that would be the easiest way to make them all 4 flow well. And since the older 2 both have "E-l-i" at the start of their names, we thought it might be fun to have the younger 2 have "M"s. Though, we are flexible, so any baby girl names, that seem to fit well along side her big sisters' names, would be great. What are your favorites??? Oh, and meaning is still a must.

Names

So we are still struggling to come up with a name for this little girl. We are thinking an "M" name, with hopefully 3 syllables. That goes well with a single syllable middle name. Originally we were thinking a Hebrew name, but can't seem to find one, so as long as it has a great meaning. Any ideas? :-)

Pain Worse than Death

I have felt a lot of pain over the last several years. The pain of giving birth, of gallstones, and of kidney stones (yeah, I know, there must be a joke there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it). I have also suffered pain that cuts deeper than any surgeons tool can reach...the pain brought on by losing a loved one. In each moment of pain, I can remember thinking things like, "Nothing could hurt worse than this" or "I just can't get through... it hurts too much". And inevitably God would get me through it and eventually show me that there are worse types of pain.

It has now been just over 9 months since I lost my mom to cancer, and that pain is still present, still aching and tugging at me. Just after she went to be with the LORD, I thought, "Surely there is nothing more painful than losing someone close to you to such an awful disease." Well, I was wrong. There is a pain that exists in this world that has the ability to go far deeper than that of loss through death. It is the pain of sin. Sin can damage the very depths of your soul, whether it is your own sin or that of someone you love. It can paralyze you, unable to move forward or backward. If it is your own sin it can poison every part of your person, creating other sins along the way, like a disease of the soul. If it is the sin of another it can bring about a grief that cannot be matched or "out done" except by One.

As I have begun to feel this strange and yet familiar pain, I have seen the destruction and agony in the lives of others as well. I have seen what it is to look on a person who is suffering the pain of another's choices. It is an ugly pain. A heavy pain. The pain of an ungodly act causing a godly pain. I cannot begin to describe this awful suffering, and yet I know that it is minuscule compared to that which Our Savior suffered for us. If one sin can hurt so deeply, how much more so the sins of the world. The pain He endured for us is unfathomable. It is more than any of us would be able to handle, and that is why it had to be Him. It could only be Christ who bore that unspeakably heavy burden. I am so grateful He did, and so humbled that He loved me enough to endure such pain for each one of my agony inducing sins.

''Father,

Thank You. I am so overwhelmed at what You have done for me. To send Your Son, knowing what He would experience and how deeply He would suffer. All so that people like me, who can and do cause such great suffering, might have life. If it were me I would have said forget it and let those pain-inflictors suffer their own fates. Yet, another reason I am so thankful that You are in control and not me. Thank You for loving me so deeply that You would give so much for me. I am humbled, and honored to be Yours."

Always quotable Ellie

After already going to bed (knowing that Steph had made cookie dough), Ellie comes out and says:

"Mommy, would you be willing to make cookie dough for us for dessert after breakfast in the morning?"

To Buy or Not to Buy

So we have been considering buying a home lately. Mainly we have been "discussing the idea", but now we are starting to consider it more seriously. The catch is we have ZERO money for a down payment, or any other fees, etc. and we know next to nothing about buying a home.

Any advice???

Lyrics to Ponder

"A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds"

From: http://www.musicbabylon.com


Thank you Father for artists like Bebo Norman, and the way their lyrics/music draw me closer to you and your truth.

The Journey home...the final journeying

We left my Uncle and Aunt in the morning before church, and met with one last friend before our final drive home. It was a short visit in Vallejo (the town I was born in and lived in until I was 14), but we got the chance to see Carmen for coffee and talk for a short bit before she needed to go to church and we needed to hit the road.

Then we drove North for a long while. We of course stop at In-N-Out for lunch in Redding, CA (the farthest North that you can find the wonderful CA chain). Then we continued on the road until we came to Grants Pass. We staying in WeaskuInn (a wonderful, and quiet Inn that my Uncle and Aunt treated us to in memory of my mom who had intended to someday go with my Dad and meet my Uncle and Aunt there for a relaxing visit). It was amazingly relaxing to have such a nice place to stop before we reached home.

The next day we left as late as the Inn would allow and finished the journey just after dinner time. It was done, and yet there was so much to be done, that it wouldn't be for another week or more before we truly felt like the journey was over and we were officially home.

The Journey home...the Workman edition

On our final full day in the Bay Area, we spent the entire day in El Cerrito at my Uncle Mike and Aunt Kathy (or Auntie Coffee's) home. There children and grandchildren came over for a BBQ and some socializing :-)

Lizzie and Ellie waiting for Auntie Coffee to come home.

A family photo

The BBQ crew (My Uncle and Aunt, their daughters, and their daughters children, minus the working hubbies, plus us of course)

The girls got to make beaded butterfly necklaces during our stay there.
They were so excited.

Aunt Kathy, me and the girls showing off our new handmade necklaces.

Journey home...the Vacaville day edition

After our Rocklin visit we headed back down to my Uncle and Aunt's for the night. The next day was a full one, since we were heading to Vacaville where so much of our family members have moved to over the last 10-20 years.

We began our time in Vacaville by meeting my Aunt Connie and cousin Jaime for a late breakfast. It was so good to see them and laugh (you can't hang out with my Aunt Connie without laughing, she just has the best sense of humor). Again I forgot the camera, but since my cousin Sal (Aunt Connie's son) is getting married in a couple of weeks, I will try to remember to take pictures then. :-)

After breakfast we headed over to Allen's brother's home where we got to visit with Bubba (Allen's brother Brian), Karen (his wife), Danielle (their daughter), Sean (their youngest son, at 19), and of course Luke (the dog). It was a nice visit and the last time they saw Lizzie and Ellie was during the same visit when we had seen my Grandma 3 years earlier. We enjoyed catching up and hearing about Nathan's (their oldest son's) recent wedding to his beautiful bride Bridgett, complete with wonderful pictures.

Brothers being forced to pose for a pic

Karen, Brian and the girls

The Rexford clan minus Nathan and Bridgett
(Sean, Danielle, Karen and Brian)

Karen and Sean with the girls
(doesn't Sean look thrilled :-) )

Once leaving Brian and Karen's home, we headed over to Fenton's ice cream shop to meet my mom's cousin, Donna Lee, for some dessert. It was so nice to see her, since the last time I saw her was at my mom's service and before that she was there helping us care for mom at the end. This was the first time I had really gotten to just enjoy hanging out with her, and the first time the two older girls were able to meet her. Again no pictures, but after typing "no pictures" as many times as I have in the last weeks, I think I will be a much more determined picture taker.


Aside: The general consensus for the day is that Lizzie is very much like I was as a little girl (looks and actions), Ellie is just like my sister was in the way she acts and apparently very much like my mom was as a kid too, though takes more after Allen's side of the family in appearances (similarities to Allen and Allen's mom). Gracie is too little to tell still, but does favor my sister in appearances. It was funny to hear about how our girls are taking after different family members.

Journey home...the Great Grandma Sewell edition

After a very short visit in Bakersfield, CA we headed 6 hrs north to El Cerrito, CA, where we would be staying with my Uncle and Aunt for the next few days while we attempted to visit as many family and friends in the Bay Area as we could.

Our first visit in the area took place the following morning, when we headed up to visit my Grandma at her home in Rocklin. We also got to see two of my cousins (Kim and Ashley), as well as Ashley's little guy, Caiden, whom we hadn't met yet. It was a great time visiting and watching the kids play together while we stayed dry inside (it poured that day). Being that it was Grandma's, we had lots of food and TONS of dessert (my favorite was of course the homemade strawberry pie, because what is better than a made-by-Grandma strawberry pie).

Grandma with my Cousin Kim, me and the girls
(Note: Ellie seems to have acquired the Hutchison curse of closing her eyes in pictures)

Ashley with Caiden, Grandma, me and the girls (again the curse continues)

Grandma, me and the girls (yes! finally Ellie has her eyes open, though she isn't looking at the camera :-)

It was so wet that occasionally the kids would stand at the window looking longingly into the backyard

It was a wonderful visit, and so nice to spend time with Grandma and some of the cousins. It had been 3 years, and Ellie was only 5 months old when we last saw them all, so this was a refreshing treat to be able to see them again.